"We have coordinated this action with our Labor partners at the International Brotherhood Of Box Gnomes," Smith continued, "And each and every box gnome will be offered continued employment with FedEx Express in our Garden Decoration Division. The current litiginous climate and increased scrutiny from OSHA made this an untenable practice, despite the benefits to our customers, especially the prized and coveted Milennial demographic. "But even as the box gnomes would scan packages as they bounced off their heads, sadly, they were incurring brain damage at an alarming rate. Heres how to hand your packages to the Postal Service, either by scheduling a free pickup or dropping them off at your Post Office. "Our valued customers really appreciated the instantaneous acceptance and tracking updating of their packages's shipping status provided by our box gnome staff," said CEO Fred Smith. "Due to concerns regarding traumatic head injuries, FedEx Express has announced that effective immediately, their valued Team Member "box gnomes" that inhabit the thousands of FedEx Express Drop Boxes across the USA will be retrained and reassigned other duties withing the FedEx Express family of companies. This distubring lack of instantaneous tracking can be explained by this Press Release, which was published right after the most recent Holiday Shipping Period: I say this because I was wondering why my tracking wasn't updating. They don't pick up today or tomorrow, so it'll be in the drop box until Monday at 3:15pm. Well, it's just sitting there in the drop box now, and I checked the pick up schedule.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |